A Note on David’s Passing
Published to Facebook on May 16, 2020
My dad died on May 4. I need your help.
Our relationship was complicated, strained, and sometimes non-existent, as is the case with many families who struggle with addiction. In my early childhood, he was my best friend and my hero. He could charm a room in a matter of moments. I wanted so much to be like him. His career excited me. I would sit in on his college lectures, not understanding a single word, but mesmerized by the way he commanded attention and engaged his students. As a college graduate, I understand now how incredible of a professor he was for this reason. He valued education above all things. I strove to be the best student to make him proud, knowing that no matter the circumstances, knowledge was a shared passion. To those who thought I had a natural proclivity for academics, I can assure you that it did not start with me. My father had a masters, a PhD, and a law degree. He was the smartest person I knew. Following the devastation and trauma brought on by Hurricane Katrina in 2005, however, he fell victim to a quickly escalating substance abuse problem. Over the course of the last 15 years, I have slowly grieved the loss of someone so loving, so intelligent, so knowledgeable, and so funny. There were highs and lows, moments of hope that his battle for sobriety would be won and moments of pain during an inevitable relapse. I cannot emphasize this enough—addiction is an ugly illness that preys on everyone. It does not discriminate based on race, religion, gender, or socioeconomic background. No one is immune, and those with pre-existing mental health concerns are at an even greater risk. It can consume a person and the people around them. Some of the darkest and most harrowing moments of my life have been spent at his side, watching him and helping him fight this beast.
I knew this day would come. I was not ready. I did not get to say goodbye. I loved him so, so much. While I struggled to make sense out of this sadness, something incredible happened. My family very generously established an endowed scholarship in his name at the University of New Orleans to help students affected by substance abuse. When the fund reaches $25,000, an annual scholarship will be awarded to a student in need. Nothing would bring my father, or myself, greater joy than to know that he helped someone get an education.
I am asking today not for your sympathy, but for your support. Whether it is a donation to his fund at the link below or an act of kindness to someone you know who may be affected by addiction, I would be extremely grateful. While I mourn the loss of my father, I am all the more excited at the opportunities ahead.
With Gratitude,
Dani